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Our Maid of Orleans Makes an Appearance on Cracked.com!

#3. Joan of Arc, the Siege of Orleans

Via Wikipedia
The Situation:
Prior to her arrival at the Siege of Orleans during the Hundred Years' War, the Maid of Orleans Joan of Arc dictated a message for the English to let them know what they were in for. The letter from Joan to the Duke of Bedford, leader of the opposing forces, reads like a curious mix of flowery ranting and religious zeal. That is, right up until the end -- where Joan suddenly gets down to business:

Via Wikimedia Commons
Creepy face and all.

The Quote:
"The Maid and her soldiers will have the victory. Therefore the Maid is willing that you, Duke of Bedford, should not destroy yourself."
Note how smoothly she enters Captain America mode, using her code name for effect while delivering her enemy matter-of-fact statements about certain defeat.

Via Wikimedia Commons
"The Maid is about to pop your siege cherry."

The Aftermath:
Alas, the duke, he did not listen. And whether or not Joan was schooled in warfare by the same archangel who uppercutted Lucifer to the Pit, she and her troops were the battlefield equivalent of the Konami Code, tearing the English new ones in more places than syphilis in one of the most decisive battles of all time.

Via Wikimedia Commons
Mostly because they were all ridiculously huge.

Read more: The 10 Greatest Uses of Trash Talk in the History of War | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_19403_the-10-greatest-uses-trash-talk-in-history-war_p2.html#ixzz1XMoXUJSK

"Must Read"

Well, this is embarrassing. Not only have I not even begun Brighton Rock—which is apparently quite a good read—but I've also recently discovered that a certain batshit lunatic elected official from Minnesota and I have far too much in common. Define "far too much," you say? Well, thanks to the Wayback Machine, I've been able to see the terrifying-sounding reading list from her 2002 State Senate campaign website. 

Much to my horror, one of my favorite books of all time, and perhaps my absolute favorite non-fiction book, John Adams, by David McCullough, is FIRST on her list. First! I have been spreading the good news of the forgotten second President (it wasn't Jefferson?) for two or three years now to anyone that will listen, and now I have to live with the uncomfortable knowledge that I actually like a thing that Michelle Bachmann likes. It really makes me question my existence a little bit. Still, at least it's not the pro-slavery book. 

Also, in other tangentially-related news, we've got some new competish' in the Book Club world. Apparently some start-ups in New York City (always trying to one-up us) have taken the Book Club world by storm by taking advantage of local laws and forming The Outdoor Co-ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society (I've linked to their "About" page, which is safe for work as of the time that I wrote this, but pretty much every other part of their blog is NSFW, so be warned, office workers and mastrophobes (also, pulp fiction the genre, not the Tarantino film)). In their words: 

We’re a group of friends, and friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends, and complete strangers, who love good books and sunny days and enjoying both as nearly in the altogether as the law allows. Happily, in New York City, the law allows toplessness by both men and women. So that’s the way we do our al fresco reading. If you’re in New York and the weather’s good, won’t you join us sometime…?

 If this isn't just a blatant attempt to steal our thunder, I don't know what it is. You have hip, urban intellectuals, creating a book club that limits itself to a specific genre in order to expand the horizons of its members (and their blog is on WordPress!). These upstarts, despite being formed a whole year after us, are already robbing us of our up-and-coming internet fame. At least they don't have beer or kayaking yet (that I know of), but still. I have to say, their name really has ours beat (it's the "Appreciation Society" that does it, but I do take issue with the "Co-Ed" part, because I don't see that many moobs at first glance). Anyway, I guess we ought to just throw in the towel now in the interest of saving time. 


Annnnnd: This concludes the FIRST Book Club post with an NSFW link! Talk about bragging rights 4LIFE!

Can you smell what the BRIGHTON ROCK is cookin??

Can YOU???

Bonjour!

First thing, we've decided on September 14th for our meeting on Inherit the Wind. Any suggestions for a venue? I believe Danielle mentioned Lauriol Plaza or maybe ChurchKey. Does anyone know how crowded either of those get after work on a weekday?

Aaaand, our next book will be Brighton Rock by Graham Greene! I'm excited, the book sounds like a great thriller, and this will be my first Greene novel. They have made not just one but TWO movies based on this one! The latter is in theaters now starring Helen Mirren.

Okie dokie, so let's plan on early October for our Brighton Rock discussion...featuring special guest Dwayne Johnson!*

*anyone know a Dwayne Johnson?

Happy reading! See you all soon!

Wendy

October meeting

Since Inherit the Wind is quite short, I thought perhaps we could choose the book to discuss in early October before the long weekend for those of us who want to begin reading the next selection. Here are the choices:

• Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe



• Emma by Jane Austen



• Brighton Rock by Graham Greene
  

Please vote for your choice in the comment section. I'm thinking we'll meet to discuss the spokesmonkey during the week of September 12th, (maybe at Lauriol Plaza?) so also let me know if any day that week would not work for you.

Thanks! Have a happy and safe Labor Day weekend!

next book!

Folks--
Hopefully I speak for the major'ty when I say Pudd’nhead Wilson was a great pick! And was even better see’n ya'll within the month. Public Bar on Connecticut Ave wasn't a bad spot after all, with an adequate selection of ‘ppetizers and some decent beer......

This reminds me: somehow I agreed to participate in a knock-off of the sketch comedy Drunk History. More on that to come. For now, get read'n Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert Edwin Lee. It’s short so let's plan to meet and discuss in rel’tively short order!

Ta ta

Literary Libation

Aww yeah. This is a beer label that I threw together for my latest finished beer, a Belgian Wit Bier that I have dubbed Poirot, after my favorite Belgian. Drawing by Danielle!

Here's what the beer looked like before it was carbonated:

Help! I know not what to do!

Clubbers, I have finished Puddn'head Wilson and now feel like a motherless child. I am directionless; I feel purposeless. This is the first time in my history of book club that I finished a book PRIOR to the day before our discussion. I'm sure Amanda knows where I'm coming from ;-)

Granted, this is all due to a particular airline delay this past week, but, nonetheless, I haven't had such a sense of worthlessness since, since, well, you'll see......

Now I think I'll lie down here, no I think I'll lie down here!!!!

Recap and next selection

Last evening's book club meeting went splendidly; kayaking proved to be quite a fun after-work activity, and during our discussion, nearly everyone ejaculated about how much they thoroughly enjoyed reading Jane Eyre. I don't know what the deuce was up with those Living Social jerks, but luckily we were able to relax and have a pleasant chat about the book despite the deck at Jack's being SUPER crowded.

A few options were thrown out there for our next month's selection, and as Kyle suggested, it might be nice to meet in the middle of August, especially if we choose a shorter book. Here are some potential pics for the month of August:

• Uncle Tom's Cabin
• Inherit the Wind
• Emma
• Pudd'nhead Wilson
  

Vote for your pick in the comments section. Thanks guys!

Classics Books People Hate

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/19/bad-classics_n_901827.html#s310869&title=Waiting_for_Godot

One-year anniversary kayaking extravaganza!

On Thursday, July 28th (rain date August 2nd) we will celebrate the first birthday of our book club by kayaking, drinking, and cooking out at Jack's Boathouse in Georgetown. We'll also be discussing Ms. Jane Eyre after we dock. We should aim to get there around 5:30pm, so we can get in a solid hour of paddling, and then still have enough time to relax on the deck before they close at 8pm. To get even more excited for our kayaking extravaganza, check out these pics Daniel took last year at Jack's.

I'll have my station wagon and I'll pack a cooler with beer and some food to bring that afternoon, leaving from 15th and K around 5pm. Let me know if you need a ride and we'll figure out how to make sure everyone gets there easily.

Eliza suggested reading "Inherit the Wind" for next month. Thoughts? Other suggestions? Hit up the comments section. Looking forward to seeing everyone on the 28th!

words I will now use in everyday life after reading Bronte

Reading Jane Eyre has bettered me in ways I never imagined. I'm now so well equipped to be that vocabulary snob at a party that I shall begin immediately, especially when the situation doesn't warrant it. I feel this really heightens the effect. Below is a preview of how I plan to use my now well-stocked arsenal.

1. Ejaculate: when expressing a sudden and urgent message, such as a greeting or goodbye. “I waved and ejaculated ‘hello’ when you walked by, but you didn’t wave back!”

2. Sallow: when describing my appearance after a Friday night of binge drinking

3. Lassitude: my cat has this in spades

4. Lugubrious: come on, tell me you don’t LOVE saying this!

5. I plan to randomly inject French phrases to everyday speech. La belle passion, or mon ange.

In reality, I will retain none of these words and will look back on this blog with a general sense of regret—ahem—rather, demur. Kudos, Wendy, for the suggestion. I only wish you would have suggested it sooner. :)

can't comment anymore :(

Have my rights been revoked? I keep getting caught in a cycle of signing in, posting, signing in, posting, and it NEVER works! What has happened? Here is what I wanted to comment on the previous post:

I think lobotomies are cool and I want one. Ok, really, I do think last meeting was great--both due to the company and the subject matter. I learned a little about "the other book" [Brave New World] from Rob and Eliza and think maybe, just maybe, I will give it another shot. Thanks guys!

Also, I would like to respectfully ask you keep my no-longer-secret obsession with MAGNUM ice cream bars between us. Really, keep it classy, huh?

I'm 1/3 into 'ol Jane and I'm loving it! Hmmmm.....that is an interesting way to say it. Double entendre anyone?!

June Book Club Recap!

Hey Bookclubbers!

Let's all pat ourselves on the back for another successful and thoroughly enjoyable meeting!

Agora, despite it's unfortunate but all too common in D.C. "no happy hour at the 'dinner tables'" rule, was a delight. Honestly, I know it was just Mythos and Peroni, but it's nice to find a bar anywhere that has $3 happy hour beers that aren't Bud or Miller Lite, so, kudos, Agora. Plus, I really quite like Mythos in the oppressive heat of summer.


The dueling discussions carried on with the kind of light-hearted chicanery that I expect took place in Bride Wars (but I haven't seen that movie, so I leave it up for debate which novel was Kate Hudson and which was Anne Hathaway). I have to say that I think the option to read one of two books this month worked out fairly well. Go ahead and give yourselves another back-pat.

In the end it was decided that, after five months of decreasingly subtle suggestions from Wendy, our next book will be Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë (here's the Gutenberg link for all-a-y'all's eReadin' needs). I for one feel very cultured to finally be reading something by an author that has a special punctuation mark in their name (and it's an umlaut at that! That's like the Daily Double of special punctuation!). I picked my decrepit used copy up today, and it is just a skosh longer than I thought, but I think we can handle it. Hell, it's still shorter than the abridged Count of Monte Cristo, right? I just hope it's as full of swashbuckling!

Happy reading!

Daniel

Book for next month

The group chose to read and discuss Brave New World for next month's meeting. Time and date will be decided as it gets closer to mid-June, but I was thinking we'd meet during the week of June 20th. If you have any venue suggestions, please leave them in the comments section. Happy reading!

Next Wednesday

hello!

Just a friendly reminder that we are meeting next Wednesday, the 18th, around 5:15pm. We'll meet at Bread and Brew on 20th.

If you can't come to the meeting because you are busy or you are not into the B and D, no worries! Please just post in the comment section below some suggestions for next month's book. We'll decide at the meeting but I want to have input from everyone who has a suggestion.

Thanks guys!

For Kyle

Hey Book Clubbers!

We've changed the date of our next meeting, which will now be on May 18th at 5:15 pm. If you haven't started reading the book, hop to it! you have just about two weeks =).

Kyle has suggested we discuss The Beautiful and Damned over drinks at Bread and Brew. Does anyone else have any suggestions? Lauriol Plaza has some bangin margaritas, but maybe I just have Cinco de Mayo on the brain.

That moment when you're reading a book...

... and you read a sentence that contains the title of the book

http://booksinthekitchen.tumblr.com/post/4235035942/that-moment-when-youre-reading-a-book-and-you-read-a

#1 on my list of things to not read impressionable children?

Any fairy tale written by the Brothers Grimm that references step-children, step-parents, dimwittedness, bad behavior, or the female sex. Seriously, I have to think that when these sleepytime stories were written, children must have been much more bad-ass than we are today. That, or 15th century Germany was miserable. Had I been fed this never-ending smorgasbord of warped, cruel, morality, I would be a slightly different person. I doubt I'd be gracing book club meetings laughing at our witty, cultural banter. Rather, I would probably be scheming ways to ensnare and devour children or practicing my witchcraft.

This was definitely not the feel good read of the year, but what it lacked in wholesomeness, it made up for in material for great discussions! Actually, this was a way cool way to get lots of discussion, and since I somehow managed to choose only the R-rated tales, it was nice to find out that some are more PG. And I now see why good 'ol Walt Disney editorialized these stories. I'm not sure whether it was the discussion of mouse boiling or the reenactment of a personified bean, but I gave this discussion a 2 thumbs up! Hopefully you all felt the same.

Moving on, our next selection was chosen last night. The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald will be discussed next month, date and location to be determined. If you want a fancy little image to help you visualize what we're reading next, I suggest you search on Google.

Last, a shameless plug for an upcoming brunch that we're hosting! Please feel most welcome to come to bunch at our place on Sunday April 3rd at 11am. I'll do the cooking and have some drinks, but if you'd like to imbibe in great excess, feel welcome to bring some bubbly or beer. The address is: 207 Bates Street NW. Lots of parking if you drive, walkable from Shaw or NY Ave metros if you don't!

Grimms Illustration "Contest"

I don't know if any of you decided to read the tale called "Iron Hans," but I did...

And this is all I could think of.


P.S. I don't have photoshop on my work computer anymore, in case you couldn't tell.

So yeah, if anyone else just really felt something when reading the Grimms tales and wants to try their hand at illustrating, just submit an email to Danielle or I and we'll post it up in here. I put the word contest in quotation marks because I guess there's really no prize for winning, although if we can come up with something, that would be cool. Maybe the prize is getting to pick the next book or something like that, I don't know? Anyway, submit!

today's cartoon on my daily calendar

It must be a sign that a magically delicious discussion will take place soon! Even though this reading was a departure from our usual material, I think it will make for a very lovely chat.

wow.....BEST book club meeting EVER!

Ok, ok. So it truly was an excellent meeting, but we missed many of you! Excellent, despite the fact that a few of us didn't do our homework, myself included. Nonetheless, it was great discussing Poirot's gumshoeing and the Chesterton piece. Comparing and contrasting Poirot and Holmes, as well as Christie and Conan Doyle, were lively topics.

If nothing else, I've at least accomplished two goals with last night's meeting. 1. Eating at BlackFinn (delicious and absolutely supreme service). I was worried the staff at the more-upscale-than-usual BlackFinn would frown upon a gaggle of book clubbers taking up space. Not the case! The staff was friendly, the food adequate, and the atmosphere pretty decent.

I'm very much looking forward to our next assignment, and I promise to not shirk my duties this month and actually put my eyes to page. That said, let's not wait a whole month before getting together again. I know our schedules are all equally hectic, but I suggest a happy hour sometime, or even a weekend get together. I'm happy to host a gathering any time. It would be alot (that's for you, Amanda!!!) of fun.

See you all soon,
Ta ta.

Next meeting and next readings

Hey book clubbers,

I wanted to remind everyone of the meeting this Thursday evening at Blackfinn.; we'll meet there between 5:15 and 5:30pm to discuss Poirot.

I spoke with a few book club members this weekend, and as everyone is SUPER busy lately, we thought it would be a good idea to do the Grimms Fairy Tales (Gutenberg) for next month. I would just say read whichever ones you like and come prepared to chat about them over drinks. The meeting will be on March 24th (a Thursday) and the location is TBD.

Thanks!

Read.gov

In my perusing to find some enlightening content for the ol' blog, I came across a wonderful little page for Classic Books on Read.gov, the Library of Congress's website for "Online books and resources for literacy & reading for everyone." As with the rest of their online books, the classics that they make available are neatly listed, and with a simple click on the "Read Now" link, your book of choice is opened in a really nice web app.

These things are nice. I mean, really nice. You get gorgeous, full-color scans of these weathered old books - the whole books. Everything from the cover to the blank pages at the end are included in such rich detail that it's almost as good as actually being able to hold these patina-infused treasures of literature. Check out this screen-cap of The Raven:

You can also switch to "scroll view" if you don't like that 2-page at a time look, which is a nice touch (although part of what I love about this web app is the two-page view's page-flipping animation). Perhaps the best part of all of this is that the webapp is apparently NOT Flash-based, which is just wonderful (and probably explains why it actually works). Full disclosure: I'm a big Adobe fanboy, but I whole-heartedly believe that Flash's reign of terror on the internet needs to end, as soon as possible.

That said, I am definitely adding Read.gov to my list of reasons to buy an iPad 2. This interface would be perfect on an iPad in landscape orientation, and the best part is that it's free (your tax dollars at work!), and accessed completely through a regular ol' web browser (meaning that in the case of using it on an iOS device, it'd be nearly impossible for Apple to block it). Additionally, it's great for drooling over illustrations from The Raven (which are apparently by some nobody named Eduard Manet) on a laptop screen while lounging around with a neck pillow on in bed. Anyway, sorry for that little geekgasm there, but this is one of the coolest things to come from our federal government since the National Parks, and I am extremely excited about all the free (and visually delicious) content that's up for grabs. Thanks, Uncle Sam!

Good Thing I'm In a Book Club

If I weren't, how could I have won fake $1,000 in Jeopardy? Look at how happy I am... all by myself. Still, thanks Dantes. You're the man.

Quick Note

Hey fellow bookclubbers! I am, like you all, very excited for our next discussion. I feel like it's been a really long time since the last one. Also, I would like to say that I am making it a personal goal of mine to put more frequent and interesting content up on the ol' blog here (it's going to be extra funny when a month from now this is still the newest post, el oh el). Anyway, sorry for the lack of exceptional, witty, and engaging content lately (and by lately, I mean since about June of last year). This Book Club Blog is going places! Stand by!

Discussing Poirot

Hey guys,

I hope you are all enjoying The Mysterious Affair at Styles and The Innocence of Father Brown.

We will meet at BlackFinn American Saloon at 1620 I Street NW at around 5:30 on Thursday, February 24th. See you all soon!

And the winner is....

In a 5 to 4 vote, The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie (Gutenberg Link - Click Here, then click the Download tab for all your format options) won out in our poll. We will compare it to The Innocence of Father Brown by GK Chesterton.

Let's meet sometime in mid to late February, and maybe we can try Blackfinn on Eye Street?

Democracy In Action

Vote! Try not to get cooped by any ne'er-do-wells.

if you need ideas.....

This list of books are ones I generally consider must reads. That said, my dreadful memory prevents me from offering any of these up for consideration when we're actually discussing the next book. There are many on this list I'd happily consume, and some I know little about. Most are English classics, so it leaves out some standard American novels, but the good ole USA represents with a little Salinger and Kerouac. At any rate, this should provide some inspiration for our next choice. Enjoy!